Where is all the knitting? Well I've not done much as you can probably tell. I'm still working on some socks for one of the many brothers I have. They were due last Christmas, then for his birthday in March.
Now I dunno.. I want to finish the socks sure, but things are not right. When I knit, I am putting love and warmth and caring into the item I am making. However, with these socks, I've poured love and caring and warmth into them in buckets, but now I just feel like it was a wasted effort.
Don't get me wrong, making socks is not an effort, but the person who they are for IS.
A complete breakdown in a brother / sister relationship. Much water under a bridge of shittyness which included his decision to cross a line and interfere in my life beyond that which is decent. I asked him to back off, politely and respectfully asked him to leave things alone and to back off. He refused. He crossed a very big line, dragging his girlfriend into the fray and another brother.
It ended very messily with me kicking him very hard in the hoobajoobs (metaphorically speaking of course). It was not undeserved but I did not feel good about doing it. He was asked to back off and warned that should he not back off he would regret it. He took that to mean I'd never speak to him again, which was naieve to say the least.
Anyway so what is left now is a dead relationship with a brother I've not known for 20 years because he always had the same view of me as an angsty teen, he got to know me a bit for 2 years and then he crossed the line and got his balls smushed.
I could have gone into vastly more detail here. I chose not to. I wrote the whole thing out and it just dragged me down and I felt would not make good blog reading. Airing ones dirty laundry in public is never good. One of the saddest things to come out of it all was that his girlfriend, prior to the ball kicking, pulled out of doing the RFL with me. She didn't even have the courtesy to tell me herself. He didn't even have the courtesy to tell me himself either. He just did what he has done repeatedly over the past couple of years, leave someone else to do his dirty work for him - so I got that garbled 3rd hand message that she was not doing the RFL. Her loss though thats for sure.
And what else is left? A pair of bamboo yarn socks. One finished, one still on the cuff. I don't want to finish those socks. They represent something vastly different to what they represented at the start. And annoyingly, I want the needles back - I have some groovy Cherry Tree Hill yarn I've had for 18 months which is crying out to be loved on some sticks.
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3 comments:
Well ok - been there and done that (siblings crossing lines). In fact, I didn't speak to my older brother for well over a year at one point - I cut him out of my life completely.
Actually, it felt like a massive weight had lifted, total welcome, relief. He, on the other hand, was upset.
When I let him back in, it was much more as an acquaintance I happen to be related to, whom I see at my parents house from time to time. It works for us both.
So either:
- frog the project; or
- better still, slip the cuff stitches onto a stitch holding piece of yarn and hibernate the project.
That way:
1) You can liberate your needles for a project that you feel more positive about.
2) If you ever tentatively decide that your brother isn't a complete rotten egg, you only have to expend 50% effort to finish a present for him.
3) If you frog then reuse 'his' yarn for anything else, it might colour your feelings towards the new project?
Alternatively, if you are sick of the sight of those socks, find one of the yarn/project karma groups on Ravelry and send the project onto someone else for them to finish and make use of. Perhaps in return for something that has no negative vibes for you but that might help someone else out of a similar situation (yarn, half finished or finished project).
There are enough negative things in our lives that can drag us down, without us loading ourselves up with more of them, even by association.
You are doing so well this year in terms of your personal objectives that you really shouldn't allow something like this to attach itself doggedly to your ankle.
Just my tuppence worth!
HAH! I have decided overnight to create the Needle Liberation Society.
Thank you, Gabrielle! Your tuppence worth is much appreciated. It made me giggle and have visions of an unfinished sock chasing me around the room nipping at my ankles yelling "kniiitttt meeeeee kniiiitttt meeeee!"
Hibernation and needle liberation it is. Cherry Tree Hill here I come =D
Oh, dear--I've had a thing going with one of my brothers for a long while now, and I have tried to fix it and he just won't let me in to do it--and HE'S the one at fault--he's just not man enough to admit he's ever wrong. I'm willing to forgive, but he won't even admit HIS mistakes! WHEW! What can you do, when you've tried everything, and you still get "kicked in the teeth"so to speak, when you try??
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